i hate not knowing who i am...anyone else feel like that...as if you could comment. i just really do. there are so many things i don't know about myself...i hate that. i just wish i could open up my head and find the answers to all of my questions...kinda wierd, huh? not knowing the answers to questions about yourself...i mean, if i don't know, who does? anyway, enough about me because, frankly, i hate myself...and i wonder why i don't know about myself. i mean why would anyone want to learn about something they hate. damn, this is just sounding way to cheerful...please don't peg me for a cheerful, funny, laugh out loud kinda guy, because, well, that's just not me. i am a cold, distant, dark person. i am very morbid, enjoy pain, and truly feel i do not deserve the love i seek so "vehemently..."